My moments...

I have a friend (if you are reading this, you know who you are!) that when I was pregnant with Kolby, while sitting in her living room one day, I asked what it was like having multiple children. I mean what was I to expect? How hard was it? Did she regret having three kids? Was I actually crazy for wanting more than one? She replied that the best thing in life was listening to your children in the other room playing together and making each other laugh. I thought she was crazy, absolutely insane and assumed that this is what having multiple children did to you. I had already heard some of the worst stories about having two kids. People had told me how their older child wouldn't even talk to them when the new baby came home. I had heard how other moms couldn't figure out how to deal with 2 kids and how they had doubted themselves as mothers. I had heard it all and now someone I considered a great friend tells me it's the best thing in life. Yep, definitely CRAZY!! I put it aside and a few months later I had Kolby. Logan being extremely pissed off at me, check. Me not being able to split myself between 2 kids, check. Me feeling more out of control than ever, check. Me not knowing how to like Kolby, check. I mean I loved him, he was mine, but it sure wasn't that intense greater than life love at first sight. Me doubting myself as a mother, wondering what the hell I was thinking, check. Okay so I definitely went through some rough spots after Kolby was born, but I didn't know how much worse it was going to get. Nor did I actually know that the best moments were yet to come. I just fast forward here to the present, nearly 16 months since Kolby entered this family. My 2 boys are best friends and they love each other so darn much. They play together nonstop and they miss each other when they aren't together. And yes, there is nothing better than listening to the 2 of them from the other room or the front seat of my car laughing hysterically at each other. Not another moment in time could be better. And those moments when they are laughing with each other and playing so awesomely together can fix any other horrible moment. I mean don't get me wrong, they are hellians and they are rough and they can be so darn bad. And more times than not I feel like I am losing my mind and that I need some serious drugs. I feel like I am so out of control and I will never regain control of my house. I feel like I am talking to a wall and that I should be on some bizarre reality show. Life in my house can be hell, but then there are those moments when they are playing and laughing and life is perfect. I have started to think of those moments when I think what the hell was I thinking and it seems to ease the tension some. I also think that there even more awesome moments to come. I wouldn't trade these moments or the really great ones in the future for peace and quiet and control for anything. These are my moments to hold and to cherish. These are my moments that they will never know that they have given me until the day that they have their own kids. These are my moments and yes, my friend is not crazy she is perfectly sane and pretty darn awesome to realize how awesome having more than one kid is. I don't know why she didn't tell me the horrible aspects of having 2 kids that day. Maybe she knew I couldn't handle it. Maybe she knew just how bad times could get and she wanted to give me something to hold on for. I'm not sure, maybe I will never know. But I do know that her advice was the best advice I ever got. So thank you for being you and for giving me something to look for and to smile at.

Happy Halloween

The boys looked incredibly adorable as train conductors last night. As you can see from the picture they were matching right down to the red bandannas. The had a good time Trick O Treating. We went to about 10-12 houses. Eric pulled them in the red wagon and then when we were about 1/2 way up the driveway they would hop out and walk the rest of the way up. Kolby actually caught on pretty quickly. He would just follow Logan. The funniest thing was Kolby wouldn't carry his bad. He would grab it and then drag it up to the door behind him. When the people would go to put something in his bag he would turn around, drop his bag and follow Logan back to the red wagon. Too funny!