"Oh I can't remember"

So Logan just finished his third week of school. It's really only the second week that he has gone, but the third week of class. He was really sick last week with a terrible cough & cold so he stayed home all week. He still isn't better, but he is at least eating and behaving a little better. Both are a sure sign that he is on the road to recovery. He went ahead and shared his sickness with Kolby, who in turn shared his sickness with Eric & myself. So if you are wondering why I haven't written in a while there's your answer.

I wish I could share with you what Logan is doing at school. I am sure that you are interested and would love to know. Unfortunately the little boy who never stops talking (that's Logan) doesn't have anything to say about school. When I question him and ask him some different things that are on the calendar that the school sends home, he just says "Oh I can't remember." Yeah right, Logan can remember things from a year ago and he wants me to believe that he can't remember what he did 10 mins before I pick him up. Anyways who would have thought that I would have to drag information out of him. Eric assures me that with time he will tell us more and more about school. Every now and then I hear him singing an unfamiliar song and he will briefly tell me about it and how he learned it at school and then all of sudden he stops and says "Oh I can't remember" like if he is part of some secret society and he has made a promise not to tell anyone what they learn or do. Sometimes when he is really talkative he will say something like "Oh we did dot art in the messy room..." and then he just trails off really quietly and I can barely hear him and I already know not to ask because the answer is always the same "Oh I can't remember". I guess for now I will have to be content with his little lapse in memory when he actually shares the part of his day that I am no longer a part of. For now it is all I have from this part of his life.

Kolby is still pretty sick, but he is eating which means his ear infection is getting better. He is getting really big & smart. Now that Logan is in school he has time that he has desperately needed since he was born. He has needed time just the 2 of us. Not because I don't like Logan to be around, but just a baby needs that time with their mommy or daddy and unfortunately for Kolby he was the second born and he just hasn't gotten as much time as I think he may have needed. You can really see his brain working now that Logan isn't around to do everything for him. He plays a lot more on his own, because he is exploring and seeing what his toys can do. He is a lot more inquisitive and is always asking things in his own way and seeking answers from me. He has advanced so much in the pass couple of weeks, it amazes me in many ways.

I have to admit that after having Logan and it being just the 2 of us for 3 years Kolby seemed a little boring when he was born. I was like come on just do something. I have even wondered how I ever survived this stage with Logan because it has been somewhat boring. I had forgotten how interesting life becomes when your baby gets just a little older and starts to explore and realize concepts like up/down, on/off or when they really start to understand you. The 2 of you develop your own language and the world around you becomes something new to explore and then suddenly you remember how to see the world through your baby's eyes and you see it with all of this wonder and amazement. I think this may be one of the best stages in life. And I am so excited that I am going to go through it all again and this time it is a different baby so it will be all new and different from the last time.

I know at the end of really hard days, those kind of days you wonder why you had kids in the first place, this new wonder and amazement remind me not only why I had 2 kids, but why I wanted to be a stay at home mom. So as much as I miss Logan and I am sad that he is growing up and has started pre school, another part of me is so excited that he is growing up and starting pre school because now I get to have all these great experiences with Kolby and we get to have so much fun and have our special time, just the two of us.